Make Father's Day gift giving easy with these free printables —including this cute case of mini bottles, dressed up just like dad!

ABC Father's Day Card

Father's Day Subway Art

A Book About Dad

A Questionnaire for Dad

Some of you may already have read my earlier post: DD is 100 Years Old Today! What's her Secret?, about my maternal grandmother, Mildred Maclean (aka, to her grandchildren and many others, "DD"). I wrote it for her 100th birthday on March 8, 2011. She is now 102! She is slowing down but is still very engaged in the world.

For example, she took her first art class when she was 100 years old and has continued to attend weekly ever since. My daughter joined her at a class as a fellow student.  How many children can say they have taken an art class with their great-grandmother? In my previous post about DD, I mentioned that she has always loved to give advice, and ever since I have been an adult, I have known enough to listen closely.

I feel privileged to have been able to have this adult relationship with my grandmother and to be the recipient of her advice. She has seen so much in her lifetime and yet she never stops wanting to learn more and to share what she has learned in a helpful way. So, here's another post in her honour, for the Grandmother Power Blogging Campaign initiated by Tara Mohr, an inspirational coach I follow.

In this post, I want to share some words of wisdom that DD and my grandfather, Alexander Maclean, shared with me and my husband Andrew, when we announced we were pregnant with our first child, over 15 years ago. They sat us down in their cheery kitchen in my home town of London, Ontario, and laid out their wisdom on the table for us. DD did most of the talking. My grandfather, a Scotsman, was a man of fewer words and a talented whistler.

At the time of this particular advice-giving, my grandparents had been happily married for almost 60 years. We already knew one of their mottos/secrets, which had to do with two "bears" - "ForeBear" and "Bear With". On their wedding day they were given two little bears, one with the sign "Fore" and the other with the sign "With". Fifty years later, they were presented with the crystal version of the bears pictured here. They gave us similar fuzzy bears when we were married. However, apparently there was more to a thriving marriage and thriving children than just the bears. We were about to find out the goods. It boiled down to three points:

1. The best thing you can give your children is a happy marriage.   To have a happy marriage, you need to invest in your relationship on a regular basis. Doing this is good for everyone.   You benefit from being away from the children and they benefit from being away from you.

DD elaborated a little more on this point….The children leave the house when they are about 18 years old and then you are left with each other.  At the time of the advice-giving, my grandparents could look back and see that the majority of their marriage had been spent together without their three children in the house. So their message was, be proactive about keeping up a good relationship throughout.

For us this has translated into regular date nights, usually on a Friday, as well as relatively regular overnight trips, for just the two of us.  The biggest gift of this advice for me has been having NO guilt as we take  time away as a couple.  I truly believe it's good for everyone.  My children benefit from having people other than their parents care for them and teach them.   And, I've noticed that the best dates are usually the simplest and the cheapest, and tend to involve a walk with a good chat.

2. Never underestimate what your children understand, especially when they are young.  They understand more than you might think.

I think DD and Grampa were bang on with this one. This was a good "heads-up" for us.  We  have tried not to talk about our kids in front of them as if they weren't there, even when they were little. When children start to talk and ask questions you realize just how much they have been taking in about the world around them.

3. Try to be consistent with each other. Don't undermine each other in front of the children.

This is a really hard one!  We strive to do this, but in the moment don't always succeed on the details.  But on the bigger points, it's so important to try to present a united front, don't you think?  I find children are very intuitive about sensing any weakness in the parental positions. That being said, I am ok with our children knowing that their father and I don't always agree on everything and that sometimes we need to discuss issues before coming to an agreement of some kind. Of course having a strong relationship helps to make healthy discussions and disagreements possible. Back to those date nights.

Upon reflection and 21 years into marriage, 14 of those with children (3 in total, and 1 with special needs), I can say that receiving and acting on this advice from DD and Grampa has been instrumental in defining our marriage and our parenting. Our marriage has remained strong because we have proactively taken time to be alone together regularly. We are continuing to evolve as parents, operating from the firm foundation this advice helped us build.  We are so grateful to have received their advice!

Back in 2006, Jim Lahey, owner of Sullivan Street Bakery was on a quest to get people baking bread.   His "No-Knead" bread recipe was simple: water, flour, salt and yeast.  Mix, wait and bake.  No special technique involved; no kneading, no rising - easy!  Jim's recipe was featured in an article by Mark Bittman in the New York Times and made popular by a youtube video featuring Mark and Jim creating the bread together (video on this page).  In this video, they revisit the original video, sharing tips to make the process quicker but the results just as good — but I'd still  recommend watching the original video to see how it all began.

Jim's bread continues to be popular across the internet, with new videos popping up all the time.  His two "no-knead cookbooks (My Bread and My Pizza) take home baking to a new level with creative bread recipes and family-friendly pizza dough recipes.

If you haven't joined the movement, grab the ingredients and the kids and make a loaf this weekend.  You'll be glad you did!

You can learn more about Jim Lahey here at the Sullivan Street Bakery website.

By the way, I first discovered Jim's recipe (photo above) on The Wednesday Chef's website (a must-see, food blog).  Luisa Weiss, a writer, blogger and cookbook editor who now lives in Berlin, Germany and certainly knows her way around the kitchen was wowed by the recipe, saying, "is the easiest I've ever tried, with among the best results."  Who wouldn't try a recipe when a food blogger raves about it like that!   You can find the recipe on her site wednesdaychef.typepad.com.

Looking for a solution to cord and cable clutter?  Dotz makes it easy to identify, shorten, secure, conceal and bundle the cords and cables that we use in and out of our homes.  From charging cables to headphones, home theatres to home offices, Dotz offers the perfect solution.  Available in the Dotz shop and in Canada at LeeValley.

See the full line of products

Whether it's Lego or Polly Pocket this innovative organizational solution will make cleanup time a snap.  The large version opens up to measure 5 foot in diameter offering up lots of room to play.  When you're ready to cleanup just pull the string you have a bag full of toys that can be tucked in a cupboard or hung on hook.  Lay-n-Go also comes in a small size making it easy to take favourite toys on the road.

• Shell:  420 Denier Poly to last for generations
• Lining: 100% Nylon which is comfortable to play on for hours yet provides a tough and water repellent wipeable surface
• Available in blue, green or pink nylon
• Four mesh 7”x 6” pockets on the playside surface provide a great way to stash and organize the most valued mini-figures or extra special pieces
• Durable nylon cord and cord lock provide an easy opening and closing system which keeps toys securely inside
• A velcroed front storage pocket provides a place to stow the drawstring when closing or carrying the bag
• Wide nylon shoulder strap adds both comfort and convenience for carrying

Available at layngo.com and amazon.ca

Have you ever yearned to find more passion, or even some passion, in your work?  Reading Lean In: Women, Work and The Will To Lead by Sheryl Sandberg over March Break made me remember an experience when I so strongly felt that yearning.  About ten years ago, I went for a ride in a hot air balloon with my Dad.  We flew over my home town of London, Ontario on a bright, still, sunny morning, full of possibility.  What reading her book triggered for me was the memory of talking with the pilot of the hot air balloon and hearing his story of how he became a pilot.  It turns out that piloting hot air balloons was something he did for fun.  Flying hot air balloons was his passion.  He worked as a real estate agent for his "day job".  I remember thinking: "I so wish I could find work I am passionate about!"   Ever since I had decided to become a stay-at-home mother back in 1998, I had been yearning for work I could be passionate about.   I didn't find passion in my lawyering.  However, now I know that I might have found some there, or at least hints of it, had I known how to look.   That's part of my mission as a coach for high-achieving women like you - to help you find, connect with and harness your passion to help you achieve goals that are deeply meaningful to you.

Sheryl Sandberg offers us much wisdom in her inspiring and empowering book.  One of the first steps she suggests taking before "leaning into" your work/life/whatever it is you are doing is to find something you are passionate about to actually lean into.  Leaning into work that you don't feel passionate about is not part of her recipe for success.  I know from my experience and that of my clients that finding passion and then acting on it is not always an easy process.   Sometimes it may even feel impossible.   However, now that I am a coach, I also know that there are ways to access and harness our passions, because they are there in us.  For sure.

Taking a step back, before I offer you a first step to help you find your passion, let's look at a definition of passion, from a foremost expert, Prof. Robert J. Vallerand:

"Passion is defined as a strong inclination toward an activity that people like (or even love), that they find important, and in which they invest time and energy."

When we are passionate about something it also becomes a part of our identity.   Someone who is passionate about tennis, doesn't just play tennis; rather, she is a "tennis player".  (Prof. Vallerand, who I heard speak at the First Canadian Conference on Positive Psychology last summer, further divides passion into two types - obsessive  and harmonious.  "Obsessive passion refers to a controlled internalization of an activity in one's identity that creates an internal pressure to engage in the activity that the person likes.  On the other hand, harmonious passion refers to an autonomous internalization that leads individuals to choose to engage in the activity that they like....With this type of passion, the activity does not occupy the entire space in the person's identity and is in harmony with the other aspects of the person's life." [from "Passion at Work", p. 178 of Emerging Perspectives on Values in Organizations] Harmonious passion is the type of passion we need to access to improve our well-being.   For our purposes, I will be assuming we are looking at harmonious passion.)

There are many routes to uncovering and following one's passions.   Here is one way, suggested by Barbara Fredrickson, a preeminent positive psychologist, in Positivity. Notice when you go into a state of "flow".  Find those unique activities that allow you to be in flow. "Flow" is  "a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it."p. 4 Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Here's a super short video that explains "flow" well.  Think about when you completely lose yourself in activity, even losing track of time.  To be in flow you need to be challenged just enough, as is well illustrated in the video.  You also need to have a clear goal in mind and  immediate feedback.

Take a moment and reflect on when you might have been in a flow state recently.  Were you immersed in project at work?  Were you flying down a ski hill?    Were you in a deeply meaningful conversation with someone and completely lost track of time?  When you are following your passions, finding flow, you are building  your opportunities for positive experiences and emotions and that is so important for enhancing your well-being, especially happiness.  And of course, it's step one in following Sheryl Sandberg's advice.

Here's an example from my work life to further prompt your reflection.  When I think back a few years to my time as a young lawyer, one of my favourite experiences was having to draft a contract for which there was no "precedent" (lawyer talk for similar contracts).  I was so used to relying on precedents  that the challenge was a bit scary, but mostly it was fun.  And I definitely got into a state of flow while I was drafting.   Had I known then what I know now, I would have reflected on that experience more afterwards.  I would have thought about why I enjoyed it.  Was it the writing? Yes.  Was it the challenge? Yes.  Was it the novelty? Yes.  Was it about how much I enjoyed working with the more senior lawyer on the file?  Yes, that too.  (I might have also realized that what I was doing was creative and that alone would have been a huge insight, since I did not think of myself as the "creative type".  BTW, this was a total misconception.  We are all creative.  It's just a question of how we are creative....but that's another blog post.)   All of those questions and answers - that reflection - could have helped me to then be more proactive and look for more experiences like that.  More flow.   And then I would have been able to say that I had found some passion in my work as a lawyer.  Those experiences would have generated more positivity for me and who knows what would have been different - at least I would have felt a whole lot more positive.  The fact that I did not feel passionate about my work made it much easier for me to decide to be at home with my young children.  I leaned away from work toward my children and home for which I did (and do) feel passionate.   I learned so much from being "at home" and loved much about that time.    It shaped who I am now and it helps me to be a better coach.   However, I also had this yearning for work outside of my family life that I was passionate about - there was something missing for me until I found coaching.  I do love "being" a coach.  I'm leaning in now.

What about you?

Where do you find flow in your life?

How could you create more flow in your life?

If you are eager for more ideas about finding your passion and what to do when you have found it, here are some steps you can take:

1. Sign up for my newsletter to get more ideas and tips to prompt your reflection (put your name and email in the box up on the right on this page).  Periodically, I make special offers such as the opportunity to apply for a complimentary coaching conversation with me - a Shifting Gears Strategy Session valued at $175.   This session could really help you get clearer on your passion and where you want to go with it (i.e. your vision for your future).
2. Sign up for a complimentary, secure journal on my journaling site. Once you are there, indicate in a journal entry that finding your passion interests you and say a bit about why and what's challenging for you.  If you select "Have a coach review my journal for free",  I will see your entry and review it and offer you some questions and more ideas to help you along in your reflection.   More info here.
3. Read  Lean In: Women, Work and The Will To Lead.  Sheryl Sandberg's book is all about helping you lean in more to this work you are passionate about, as are the Lean In circles she is encouraging people to create, via Leanin.org.

If you are really keen and determined, do all of the above!  What are you waiting for?  Make some room for this in your life!

As always, I love to receive your comments.

P.S. And to tie this post to managing energy, a theme in many of my posts: feeling passionate generates energy - emotional energy and the human spirit kind.  Then the question is: what  are you going to do with all that wonderful energy?

P.P.S. I have blogged about passion before - see this post for more: Elements and LEAPS in Las Vegas.

Photo credit: EJP Photo / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Kick off the long weekend with an afternoon filled with egg dying and Easter fun.  From a keepsake scarf bunny to DIY play-doh, this collection of Pinterest pins is sure to be a hit with the kids.

Hoppy the Bunny
This adorable bunny comes together quickly and uses supplies from around the house! 
Source: larkcrafts.com

Easter Scavenger Hunt Idea
Are your kids getting older?  Take your egg hunt to a new level (and cut back on the sweet treats) with a fun scavenger hunt that leads them to a special surprise at the end.
Source: momsandmunchkins.ca

String Eggs
These colourful string eggs will last for years to come.  Make them in multiple sizes and use them as decorations.
Source: instructables.com



Egg Dying Tools & Tips
Who would have thought a kitchen whisk would save your fingers from all that dye!
Source: outnumbered3-1.com

DIY Easter Play-doh
The kids will love the texture of this homemade play-doh.  Add in some mini kitchen utensils and cookie cutters and they'll play for hours.
Source: oneperfectdayblog.net

Tie Dye Easter Eggs
Your young scientists will have fun creating these extra-ordinary eggs.
Source: toddlerapproved.com

Struggling to get everything done around the house?  Tired of nagging your kids to brush their teeth and make their beds?  Gather the troops and try implementing one of these fun and creative chore charts.  You'll even find some cute ideas for the little ones in your family.

Chore Ribbon
Use household objects to make a simple chore and reward system for multiple kids.
Source: blog.silhouetteamerica.com


Chore Buttons
This DIY idea combines the chore and payment in one!   
Source: Collette Horne


Toddler Chore Chart
With some simple picture cues, everyone can help!
Source: mychildcenteredlife.com


Magnetic Flower Chore Chart
Build the flower, one chore at a time. 
Source: theoutlawmom.com


DIY Chore Jar
Download a set of chore labels, attach to sticks and you're ready to go.
Source: whateverdeedeewants.com


Printable Chore Chart
This colourful chart lets you customize tasks according to child and day of the week.
Source:  leahremilletblog.com

Family Chore Chart
Get everyone involved in daily and weekly tasks.
Source: Supersaturdayldscrafts.blogspot.ca

The 2013 Great Backyard Bird Count takes place Friday February 15 through Monday February 18th.   This annual event engages bird watchers of all ages in counting birds to create a real-time snapshot of where the birds are.  Everyone is welcome, from beginners to expert birders.  It takes as little as 15 minutes per day or as long as your family chooses.

Participants tally the number of individual birds of each species they see during their count period. They enter these numbers on the GBBC website.  NOTE: 2013 is the first time ever that the CBBC checklist will be accepted from anywhere in the world!

From an online bird guide to a quick and easy how-to, birdsource.org has everything you need to get your family involved in this fun weekend activity.

How to participate
It's as easy as 1-2-3!

Online Bird Guide
Visit the Cornell Lab of Ornithology's Online Bird Guide, a dynamic resource for bird identification tips, sounds, maps, and natural history information. Go.

GBBC for Kids

The Great Backyard Bird Count Canada

For as long as I can remember, my maternal grandmother,  Mildred Maclean ("DD" to me), would make the plum pudding for our Christmas dinner.  (Post about DD.) A few years ago, when she was well into her 90s, I took over the role of plum pudding maker.  I now make the pudding, bolstered by my grandmother's notes, delivered to me in a cute little journal she bought for the purpose, as well as my good friend, The Joy of Cooking.  At first there was bit of a learning curve and a getting over the knowledge of the actual not so healthy ingredients for this incredibly delicious concoction.   I also had to learn about steaming puddings, which is quite a production, but not hard once I got the hang of it and had the right tools.

You can see from the accompanying photo, that the pudding is ceremoniously served flaming, after letting it hang out in brandy or rum for several weeks and then giving it a good douse just before the flame hits.  It's quite a sight.  And then the exquisite taste sensations follow, when the pudding is served accompanied by the delectable soft rum sauce.

This is a mutli-dimensional food experience, one which does affect several of the different types of energy I have been blogging about.  Two blog posts ago, I made the observation that eating really isn't always just about managing physical energy; there is usually an emotional component, maybe a mental and often a spiritual component.  Having just made, served and eaten several helpings of pudding in recent weeks (it keeps well as a leftover too, amazing! :)), pudding was top of mind for me as an example of food that is more than just managing physical energy.  So let's take a quick look at this pudding experience more closely, shall we?

Spiritual energy, to remind us, is about acting in harmony with one's deepest values and about feeling a connection to something greater than oneself.   So, in this case, making, serving and eating the pudding, does have a spiritual component for me on several levels.  Making it makes me feel like I am contributing something special and significant to our family.  The recipe makes two good sized puddings so there is always enough for my nuclear family and one for my extended family - this gives me the connection to something larger.   On the values side, I place great importance on my capacity to love and be loved - in other words, it's all about loving connection for me.    Making the pudding makes me feel connected to my grandmother, especially when I go over her careful hand-written notes to me or call her for a quick bit of advice.  I also feel more connected to my mother who is often hosting many people at Christmas-time and feels grateful to me for making the pudding.  Finally, I receive the gratitude from the rest of my family members, which boosts my positive emotions (giving me emotional energy).

I should say that, this year, as I often do, I had the negative conversations with myself about not having enough time, leaving it too late (should be done about a month in advance), and general grumpy scrooginess about how much work Christmas is.   These are draining conversations - ever had any like this? :)   And to boot, when I finally got around to it, I realized I had actually forgotten to buy the "plums" - the raisins  - and had to run out down to the store to get some to mix into the already prepared batter.  This was after I had already sent my son down to get more flour - we were low on that too.   However, when I open myself up to the bigger picture, as I wrote about above, I am able to shift gears and become energized, rather than frustrated by, the experience and the task itself.  I managed to accomplish this shifting of gears  after a few deep slow breaths, upon returning with the raisins and stirring them into the batter.

So making, serving and eating the pudding is an annual ritual that contributes to my managing of my spiritual energy -  if I allow it to, if I am open to it.  It does fill me up spiritually, as well as physically and emotionally.   It nourishes my soul, so to speak.  You could really call it the "pudding of love".   This all being said, we can find easily the spiritual and emotional components in everyday food experiences if we look.   For example, I think this way in terms of soup that I make and serve to my family too - a big bowl of love served up piping hot.  Gathering family or friends together to eat can beautifully create this effect, regardless of what is being served - even cereal for dinner.   I have a friend who bakes up goodies to take to work to the team she manages - from what I can tell, this fuels everyone involved spiritually and emotionally, as well as physically.   (Have a look at this inspiring book, The Family Dinner by Laurie David, if you want ideas.) What about you - what foods and circumstances serve this purpose for you and those around you, whether you have prepared them yourself or not?

As always, I love to receive your comments and ideas.

PS Upon reflection, I have realized that my statement: "Where I am at now, essentially, is that I see food as fuel for my body primarily and, as a far second, as something delicious, to be shared,  experimented with, etc."  in this earlier post isn't quite accurate.  The deliciousness, the sharing, the other experiences are very important to me too.    I am very focused on the healthiness of the food I eat, it is true, but I also do love to eat things that aren't so healthy.   This approach offered, by Alice Domar in Self Nurture: Learning to Care For Yourself As Effectively As You Care For Everyone Else p. 134, when she talks of eating for comfort and pleasure, is a more appropriate guideline for me to keep in mind.  It's the 80/20 plan -

"If 80 percent of the food we eat is nutritious - low to moderate sources of protein, including fish, chicken and dairy products; fresh fruits, vegetables beans and seeds; whole grains and breads - then we can allow ourselves to enjoy 20 percent that fall outside these categories.  In this manner, we can allow ourselves the comfort foods - chocolate chip cookies, cakes, ice cream, and chips - with far less guilt and a clear sense that we have not abandoned our physical health or betrayed our bodies."

What about you? Does this work for you?

PPS Thank you to my assistant Rebecca who read this piece a few days ago and shared her insightful comments and editing assistance!

In time for Family Day, Walt Disney Studios celebrates the 60th Anniversary release of Walt Disney's classic, "Peter Pan," as it soars to all-new heights - with a new digital restoration and high definition picture and sound - for the first time on Blu-ray(tm). The classic tale that taught us all "to believe" and first introduced us to the Darling children - Wendy, John and Michael - as they flew with Peter Pan and Tinker Bell past the second star to the right and straight on 'till morning to the enchanted world of Never Land. Rediscover the magical adventure and relive childhood memories of this great bedtime story.

Giveaway

Want a chance to win a copy of Peter Pan Diamond Edition 2-Disc Blu-ray Combo Pack? Simply click here, fill out the form and we'll let you know if you are one of our lucky winners.  Giveaway closes March 15th!

Ricardo: Meals for Every Occasion by Ricardo Larrivee (2009)

What do I like best about Ricardo Larrivee? He’s Canadian, of course — He’s our Jamie Oliver, but better! Ricardo loves cooking, family and entertaining so it is not a surprise that this book is filled with recipes that will satisfy all three. What’s even better is the section on last-minute meals that can be made in less than 30 minutes as well as the freeze and reheat recipes that make busy weeks a little easier. The French cuisine and kid-friendly recipes make this our top pick and family’s go-to cookbook.

Ricardo's 30-Minute Recipes

Foolproof by Ina Garten (2012)

Ina Garten is well known for the added extras she mentions while cooking on her Food Network TV show. This book takes it one step further offering up advice on how to create menus, time things so everything gets on the table when you want it there and she suggests things to watch for while preparing each recipe; Tips that will help to avoid kitchen disasters. Many of the recipes in this book are perfect for entertaining, but you’ll also find a number that kids will love including Easy Tomato Soup with Grilled Cheese Croutons!

Recipes: Green Salad Vinaigrette | Tomato Crostini with Whipped Feta

Cooking Light Real Family Food (2012)

Amanda Haas, founder of OneFamilyOneMeal.com, teamed up with Cooking Light to create a cookbook to encourage families to cook and eat together. Filled with more than 150 recipes, this cookbook offers kid-friendly meal preparation advice and tips to help families get back to the dinner table.

Family Lunch Recipes

Meatless by Martha Stewart Living (2013)

Meatless Monday’s just got easier! Not only is this book filled with more than 200 meatless recipes, it’s packed with helpful advice on how to stock your pantry with meatless meal ingredients. Plus, some creative tips on how to add some flavour to simple recipes.

Recipe: Skillet Greens with Eggs and Mushrooms

The Family Dinner by Laurie David, Kirstin Uhrenholdt (2010)

This book has everything you need to get your family back to the dinner table; Fun conversation starters, ways to express gratitude and lots of easy to make, kid-approved recipes.

Recipe: Speedy Pasta in a Pan

My Pizza by Jim Lahey (2012)

If you’re a fan of DIY no-knead bread you have Jim Lahey to thank for it. This latest installment of no-knead creations is a great fit for family dinners — kids love pizza! Once you start making your own dough you'll wonder why you hadn't started sooner.

No-knead pizza dough Q&A interview with Jim Lahey

You don't have to be a creative genius to look like an artist with the Original Buddha Board.  The white board sits on a tray that holds water. Use the brush and the water to paint, and watch your strokes magically turn black. As the water evaporates, the board becomes white again.

Keep the design board out where the whole family can explore their inner artist and say goodbye to the stress of the day.  Whether you spend a few minutes doodling or settle in for a serious session to unwind from a busy day, this board will be a fun addition to any home.  One word of caution, your design won't last long so capture your little artists masterpiece before it fades away.

Find the Original Buddha Board - Master the art of letting go at Indigo.

Take the Buddha Board on-the-go with this fun (and free!) iPhone app.

See the Buddha Board in action

This is a post I made in 2010 on my own site before I began blogging for Northumberland Kids.  I think the message is just as good now as it was then.  Enjoy!

I wonder what would it be like if, this holiday, along with our turkey, we all sat down to a feast of strengths cooked up by every person around the table?

I had the privilege of attending the International Coach Federation's Annual Conference this Fall in Fort Worth, Texas.  This is the third such conference I have attended.  At each conference, I feel like a giant sponge just soaking up all the new ideas I experience.  I then like to spend the next year digesting all of the material.  I have so much fun!  Anyway,  one of  the speakers I heard  in Texas was Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener. (See a review of his book "Practicing Positive Psychology Coaching" by Louisa Jewell.  This book comes highly recommended to coaches interested in incorporating positive psychology into their practices.  It's on my Christmas list!) His presentation was focused on strengths. He called them the "back door" to happiness.  Using our strengths is energizing.  Happiness is beneficial.  It doesn't just feel good. It is good.  Happiness leads to desirable outcomes: happy people are more creative, have more friends and have better health.

Biswas-Diener demonstrated his technique for us.  He encouraged us to try the exercise with a partner right then and there.  We were to share with each other a time when we were at our absolute best. Afterwards,  Biswas-Diener pointed out how such a conversation creates a bond between the two people involved    It is intimate and special to hear someone open up (and be vulnerable) and talk of themselves in this way.  Biswas-Diener  talked about how in coaching we create an artificial environment where it is "ok" to "brag" about our strengths.  That idea of creating this artificial environment has stayed with me.  Hence my question about a feast of strengths.  Why does the environment have to be artificial?  Let's make it real!

Here is a way to bring strengths to the table at your holiday feast:

Turn to the person beside you and ask them to tell you a story of when they were at their absolute best.  Listen to them attentively. Listen for where they get  energized, where they sound proud of themselves.  Share what you notice with them.  Pick a word that you think describes the strength they were showing in the story and offer it to them.  See their reaction.  Don't be offended if it's not bang on.  Your offering might be enough to help the person see their strength for themselves and share it with you.   Have fun!  I have a feeling your feast will be extra-delicious this year!

P.S. Here  is some more reading about strengths in my friend and colleague Lisa Samson's Nov 30/10 post "CSV vs DSM".

P.P.S. I am "serving up" my strengths here on this website and blog.  (In keeping with my desire to be transparent, my signature strengths (derived from the VIA Survey of Character Strengths, a free questionnaire)  are: the capacity to love and be loved, curiosity, kindness and generosity, judgment and critical thinking and gratitude.  See my second blog post for more info on how to do this for yourself.)  Please feel free to take my strengths as you like, with some seasoning (maybe not too large a grain of salt!), hot, cold, lukewarm, in small servings, with ketchup, pickles etc.!

Photo Credit: PetitPlat - Stephanie Kilgast / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Is your New Year’s resolution to get your family’s busy schedule under control?    The solution is simple.  Calendar + Event details + Check it daily.  Finding the right family calendar can be a challenge but not an impossible task.

For 20 years, More Time Mom Calendars have been helping Canadian families stay organized.   Founded by Joanne Lalonde Hayes, this Canadian company is well known for it’s #1 best selling Family Organizer.  With an extra large grid (squares are 2.1"x 3.5") this calendar has plenty of room for all the details, including fun stickers to highlight important events.  The back pocket keeps school year papers handy and because it is spiral bound you can hang it with a full month view or in a half-month view.

INSIDE YOU WILL FIND:
•    Lots of room to track important things, time with your kids,etc.
•    330 appointment and reminder stickers, bound to organizer
•    An extra large pocket for your bills and loose paperwork
•    New illustrations and some colouring pages for kids to colour
•    Telephone, Emergency and Medical directory
•    MTM recipes, To do lists, kids chores, etc.
•    Inspirational Quotes, Moon phases
•    High quality opaque erasable paper

The More Tme Mom Family Organizer and line of calendars and organization products is available at moretimemoms.ca and retailers nationwide.