Stress Signs
The Stop! Look! and Listen! method can help you determine if your child is feeling stressed.
Nicola Lyle

Fall is full of transitions for children and families. Adjusting to a new school, teacher, or childcare situation or beginning an extracurricular activity, such as hockey or music lessons, can be challenging for everyone after the relaxed, lazy days of summer.

Most children find these changes in routine stressful. Stress is not necessarily a bad thing – it can help motivate us and give us the energy to meet challenges head on. Too much stress, however, can be overwhelming and harmful to our health.

Signs of Stress in Kids

Stress in children shows up in a variety of ways. Parents might see physical signs, such as headaches, stomach aches, skin rashes or sleep problems (either not being able to sleep or sleeping all the time). Children also might seem more “babyish”, doing things like whining, thumb sucking, crying, biting, or hitting.

Teachers might notice that children have difficulty concentrating and are more distracted and forgetful. When determining whether your child is showing signs of stress, ask yourself, “Is this behaviour unusual for my child?”
If you think your child may be feeling overwhelmed and anxious, try the “Stop! Look! Listen!” method:

• Stop what you are doing for a few minutes each day to talk with your child. Some children are more likely to share their feelings when you engage in an activity together, such as washing dishes or folding laundry. Others tend to open up at bedtime (put them to bed a few minutes earlier than usual if this is the case).

• Look at your child’s face once a day. Is he clenching his jaw or teeth? Are his eyes relaxed and focused or darting around? Does he have hives or a rash? Giving your child a quick once-over every day will help you notice changes in his appearance.

•Listen to your child without interrupting or speaking to him. Remember that young children can be slow to express their thoughts due to their limited language skills and older children may be embarrassed to talk about their feelings. Taking time to really listen to your child tells her that you are interested and concerned.

Ways to Minimize Stress

Here are some things you can do to prevent stress:

• Ensure healthy habits. Make sure your child is eating nutritious food and getting enough sleep and has daily opportunities for exercise.

• Avoid “overscheduling” your child’s time. Consider limiting structured activities (music lessons, hockey, ballet) to one per week.

• Limit the causes of stress. For example, if your child finds having a birthday party stressful, keep it small, intimate and short. Remember that children are unique and what one child finds stressful, another may take in stride.

If your child is stressed, help him find healthy ways to deal with it:

• Reduce the symptoms of stress. Suggest that your child take 10 deep breaths when she seems panicky or anxious. Teach her some child-friendly yoga stretches or just take a run around the block together.

• Do some problem-solving. Talk to your child about the situation she finds stressful. Get out a piece of paper and together write down possible solutions to the problem. Next, go through the ideas and decide which ones might work best. Review the situation a few weeks later and see if the ideas worked. Being able to problem-solve will increase your child’s confidence in managing difficult situations.

• Speak to a health care professional. If your child’s symptoms of stress continue after trying some of these techniques or you feel you need additional support or intervention, ask a health care practitioner to recommend services or resources.

Remember that lots of stressful situations will arise throughout your child’s life. By learning how to manage stress in a healthy way early on, your child will acquire valuable skills that he will use for a lifetime!

For more information on helping children deal with anxiety and stress, sign up for the parenting course, Kids Have Stress Too!

Call the Northumberland Child Development Centre in Port Hope at 905-885-8137 to register.

Note: Some of the above material was adapted from Kids Have Stress Too!, a program of the Psychology Foundation of Canada.

Nicola Lyle, M.Ed., is an education coordinator with the Ontario Early Years Centre in Peterborough.