Staying Home Alone
Proper preparation can help take the fear away.
Joanne Culley

This summer, 10-year-old Miriam will embark on a new adventure – staying home alone for part of the day. “Miriam is spending two weeks at an art day camp and a week with her grandmother, but there will be one week when she will be spending half-days alone,” says mom Rachel, a social worker.

Rachel’s not worried. She’s confident that Miriam is mature enough to be left alone.

In contrast, Lisa, a radio producer, knows her 11-year old daughter is not ready to be by herself. “She’s afraid to be alone, even for short periods of time, even though my older daughter at the same age was fine,” says Lisa. “So we respect that.”

Follow age guidelines

It’s clear that age is not the only factor that parents need to consider when determining whether their child is ready to be left alone. But it’s a starting point.

Under the Ontario Child and Family Services Act, parents and caregivers cannot leave children under 16 years of age alone, without “making provisions for his or her supervision and care that is reasonable in the circumstances.”

This means the parents must make sure that the home is safe and that the child understands safety guidelines. They must also take into consideration the child’s age, the proximity of other adults, the length of time the child is left unattended, the parents’ whereabouts and how easily they can be reached, as well as the location of the home – is it in a rural area or in the midst of a family-friendly neighbourhood? The following guidelines have been developed for parents who are thinking about leaving their kids at home alone:

• kids ages 8 - 10 can stay alone for one to two hours,

• kids ages 11 to 13 can be left alone for two to five hours if there is someone nearby to whom the child can go for help,

• kids ages 14 to 15 can be left alone for a full day or overnight, if an older sibling is in the house.

Take maturity into account

But, as Lisa discovered, there are other things besides age that parents need to take into consideration when leaving a child alone, including the child’s maturity and ability to handle responsibility. And the child’s own comfort level when staying alone is also important. Lisa made a wise move by not pushing her child to take on more than she could handle.

“We usually tell parents to start out by leaving their child alone for short periods of time to see how well the child handles it,” says Trish Bucholtz, child-care resource consultant at the Ontario Early Years Centre in Peterborough. Bucholtz recommends talking to your child after you return about how she felt being home alone. Was she comfortable? Did she feel safe? If not, how can the family solve this together?

Before leaving a child alone, Bucholtz says it’s important for parents and children to discuss the safety rules. “Basic rules are to not answer the door, and what to say if the phone rings. For instance, don’t say, ‘my parents aren’t home’ but rather, ‘they are not available at the moment,’” advises Bucholtz. The child needs to know which appliances are off limits, how to call 911, how to contact another adult, such as a neighbour or relative, for help, and what exits to leave the house by in case of a fire

Parents also need to go over how the child will spend her time while alone. Rachel talks to her daughter in the morning about possibilities. “I’ll tell Miriam that I want her to do certain chores, such as putting the cutlery away, and also suggest she could read another chapter of her book, watch part of a movie, or do a crossword puzzle.”

Lisa adds: “My rule with my older daughter is always “no computer” when I’m away, simply because I think it’s a waste of time. Besides, when both kids are alone, the older sibling might get too caught up with the computer and ignore the younger child.” Bucholtz agrees, but notes, “computer rules are very important for children whether you are at home or not.”

Courses help prepare child

Most parents and experts agree that a good way to prepare a child to be home alone is to enrol her in a babysitting or a safety course (see Resources). With the proper preparation, being home alone needn’t be a scary experience for your child.

Joanne Culley is a writer and documentary producer who lives in Peterborough with two teenage sons. She can be reached at joanne.culley @sympatico.ca.

Resources

Babysitting courses:
St. John Ambulance, 1500 Lansdowne St. W., Peterborough, 745-0331
Canadian Red Cross, 565 Water St., Peterborough, 745-8222

Home alone course:
Kidproof Canada offers two-hour courses for children aged 10 to 12 that teach safety skills for time spent home alone. Some courses also include basic first aid. Find course information at www.kidproofcanada.com/courses/overview.aspx